My testimony is like everyone else's testimony. It is the story of how God saved me from my sin because He is merciful and loving.
Before I was born or even became a though, my parents wanted a child. For a couple of years they looked for a child to adopt, but could not find one. My entire family and the church prayed for my parents to have a child.
One day while my father was at work, his boss at the time pulled him aside and asked him if he and my mother would like to adopt the baby her daughter would be having. Without hesitation, my parents gave a joyful 'yes'. Their prayers were answered. Eight months later, I was born and taken home by my parents three days later.
I was raised in a Christian home. My parents went to church every Sunday and Wednesday. My mother was in the choir, my father was a deacon and my beloved grandmother worked in childcare at the church. My grandmother was one of the people who played a major role in getting started in my walk with Christ. She took me to church when she could and even allowed me to help her take care of the babies she watched. She meant the world to me, and more; she was a second mother to me. I do not think I would be the person I am now if she was not in my life.
During my early childhood through high school, I was severely bullied. I was bullied for my physical appearance, what I said and how I acted. Essentially, my bullies found every reason they could to pick on me and try to tear me down. This did not affect me much. I continued to go to church and learned more about Christ.
One night when I was in the first grade, I felt the Lord tugging at my heart while eating pizza, telling me how much He loved me and cared for me. I gave my life to Him that night, but my pastor at the time had me wait a year to get baptized because of how young I was. After the day I was baptized, I continued to study His Word and went to church every opportunity I could.
As time went on, I continued to grow. I was happy as could be. But then I was not when my grandmother passed away due to ovarian cancer. Watching her suffer the way she did broke my heart because she was hurting and there was nothing I could do to make it better or stop it. As I said before, she was a second mother to me.
I thought she was supposed to be strong and happy all the time. I thought she would stay in my life forever. Losing her crushed me. I did not know what to do for a long time. However, I knew where she went, and this brought peace to my heart when she want home.
In high school, some things about me changed. I stopped going to church because I was the outcast in the youth group. I did not fit into any of the cliques. Most of them were popular kids and I was the girl who read a lot of books and had interests in anything nerdy. I did not see a reason to go to church if I had no one to talk to.
During this time, I did not know who I was and I fell into a dark place emotionally. I had suicidal thoughts and I almost went through it, and I cut my right forearm for a while.
After some time passed, my parents and I decided to try and find a new home church. It did not take us long to find a new church where we felt God wanted us. There were people at this place I knew and would talk to me. This is the church that got me started playing worship music on the piano.
I became happier. I found the Lord's marvelous light and His love was in my heart. I stopped cutting and when I start feeling myself fall towards that dark place, I turn to Him for comfort.
After my senior year of high school, I had gotten back on track of going to church and I was falling more in love with the Lord. However, that summer I had to endure my first breakup with my first love. It was tough going through that because I had thought he was 'the one', but he was not.
Shortly after this, I went to a youth revival known as Christ in Youth. There, I realized that all of my life up to that point I know knew God in my head and only a little in my heart. As the days continued on at this revival, my heart began to know Him more. I did not know until then what I had been without. I had been without the Lord being the 100% in my heart. After I got home from CIY, I got a tattoo of the revival's symbol on my right forearm where I used to cut in high school.
When I came to college, I joined the BCM and Kappa Phi because I wanted a group of individuals to hold me accountable in studying the Bible and to help me grow closer to God. I did find this in the two organizations.
An example of this is when I lost my older brother to suicide my freshman year. This caught me by surprise and it broke me down some. But the people in the BCM and Kappa Phi were there for me. They picked me up and held me close. I am blessed and grateful for those who were there for me, and that God was there for me and carried me through my mourning.
Today, I am still a member of BCM leadership (obviously) and on their worship team. I am also the vice president of program direction of Kappa Phi and the regional secretary. I will continue to abide in the Lord and do His kingdom works.
Wherever and however He calls me, I will obey.